Are we allowing childhood in Hull? Observations on childhood after 6 days in the Netherlands

By Ruby Thompson, Co-Artistic Director of The Herd

I went on holiday with my 4 year old to the Netherlands. Seeing a country through the eyes of a child is a fascinating experience, and made me reflect on the cultural differences of childhood.  

Space for play 

Every museum we visited had either a playground outside or a play space. As well as the exhibitions being extremely interactive - dried Zebra poo that you could hold, stuffed animals you could touch, space ride simulators. These elements weren’t sectioned off from the ‘serious’ exhibitions, every room had these considerations. Every area was playful. 

There were spaces for risky play too. A play area at the swimming pool included a climbing wall with buttons that sprayed water in your face. (This one tweaked my anxious parent disposition) 

There are playgrounds and skate parks everywhere. On 20min cycle to the beach we past 6. There were also slides and swings on the beach. Not that children need them for play here - but it felt like a symbol of childhood, a welcome. 

Freedom 

We saw lots of Children playing in public playgrounds without adults. Young siblings around 6 and 3, a 5 year old playing solo with a toy car on a skate park. There were schools without gates. Trusting the children to not escape, and the community around them to respect and protect them. 

Young children on bikes - cliché of Northern Europe - but a symbol of freedom. Babies and toddlers  feeling the wind on their faces, and also young children cycling themselves, given the permission by their grown-ups and the patience of the grown-ups they encountered 

Pre-teens cycling with their friends was commonplace. The proximity of different towns meant they were exploring outside of their community. The cycle paths EVERYWHERE meant this was possible and safe. I saw a handful of helmets the entire time. I’m not saying this is the best approach, but again it feels like a symbol. 

Attitude of adults 

It felt like our child was allowed to just, be. She could talk and sing without bristling adults. She had a full blown meltdown in a cafe and I didn’t feel as much of the pressure or judgment. It was still very hard, but I felt calmer than usual after seeing so many other children expressing emotion in public and seeing the public ignoring and allowing it, without comment.

At a playspace in Amsterdam on the last day, I realised I hadn’t seen an adult were not apologise for their children on the entire trip. A 1 year old, came over to talk to us and to knock down the tower we were building, and their mother doesn’t apologise or tell them off. We enjoyed meeting the 1 year old, our daughter understands they’re much younger and not doing anything ‘mean’ in their destruction. This is supported by the fact the grown ups around aren’t punishing the child for their age appropriate responses. 

There are deep social and political contexts to this of course - it’s not as simple as saying everyone in Hull should pop their babies on bikes tomorrow. There is the infrastructure to cycle everywhere, the world-leading health care to deal with risky play, the public funds to keep the parks safe and tidy and the investment in education to enable children to make sensible decisions when operating in the world.

But the experience made me reflect more on raising a child in Hull. What is she gaining (other than a helmet) and what is she losing? What is the culture of childhood surrounding her? And I wonder what it looks like to a visitor?